The Poop Log

Ben offering a leaking gift bag to a horrified party guest while Hank looks on proudly from the background.
The Gift Bag Mix-Up
It was a party, drinks and cheer,A festive vibe was in the air.I reached beneath the kitchen sink,Grabbed the bag — then paused to think.It felt too warm… and smelled... Read more...
Ben barefoot in the yard about to step in poop while Hank relaxes nearby and poop piles surround the lawn.
Ben’s Backyard Minefield
The grass was lush, the day was bright,A barefoot stroll felt just right.But Hank had made his rounds before…And left surprises by the door.I leapt and cursed, then stood real... Read more...
Tess mid-slip in the kitchen with spilled coffee and a turd underfoot while Beans watches from the counter.
Tess’s Tumble
A coffee spill, a tangled cord,A morning rush she can’t afford.But fate had plans beneath her boot —A hidden turd. A slide. A scoot.She hit the tiles with flat disdain…Then... Read more...
Ben trapped in an elevator with Hank mid-poop beside him while the lights flicker and the doors remain closed.
The Elevator Incident
Just made it in — the doors slid shut,A sniff, a twitch… my stomach’s gut.I looked at Hank. He looked away.Then crouched and let one loose midway.Five floors to go.... Read more...
Ben kneels in the grass holding a poop bag while Hank poops mid-walk, missing the bag entirely as Ben recoils in disgust.
Scooped Too Soon
I bent to scoop, bag at the ready,My hand was swift, my aim was steady.But Hank was not yet fully done —He backed up mid-dump, mid-run.I missed the mark, I... Read more...
Jess in heels mid-slip in a hallway, stepping into old cat poop while dressed for a date, with Beans watching from the background.
Hot Date, Cold Surprise
Eyeliner sharp, her heels were tall,She strutted down the condo hall.But then—a slip, a curse, a shriek—A poop right there from Beans last week.Now rage replaces perfume’s mist…Her date? “Delayed.”... Read more...
The Poop Report
The Poop Report
He scans the lawn with rake in hand,A sock-and-sandal poop patrol man.Clipboard ready, glasses thick,He logs each pile, each splatter, each stick.His verdict lands without a pause:“Statistically, this breaks the... Read more...
Man in a bathroom stall holding a sock with no toilet paper in sight, looking panicked, next to graffiti that says “Poop Happens.”
The Sock Sacrifice
The bag was gone. The roll was too.I panicked. What was I to do?The trail was long, the wipes were few…So I did what I had to do.A single sock.... Read more...
Turd in the Wind
Turd in the Wind
The breeze was soft, the sun was high,I hung my laundry out to dry.But something brown went flying past —A shape unholy, oddly fast.It flopped and landed in the dirt…Who... Read more...
The Conference Call Catastrophe
The Conference Call Catastrophe
Muted mic. Video off.I sit and smile and quietly scoff.But then… a waft. A scent. A shift.Disaster comes - a poop so swift.Beans appears with guilty eyes He dropped a bomb... Read more...
Public Poop Panic
Public Poop Panic
The aisle was clear, the seat was clean —Or so I thought. A silent scream.I turned, I froze, I saw the smear…A poop abandoned — crystal clear.Who left this gift... Read more...
The Silent Offense
The Silent Offense
I lit a candle, scrubbed the floor,Still, something lingered near the door.Not trash, not shoes, not last night’s stewA smell too strong, too bold, too true.Then I saw it… proud... Read more...